So this week has been full of challenges:

• We couldn’t keep the van we had hired so we brought it all the way back to Brisbane from Noosa. Then we found out we could have kept the van an extra day.

• I needed to do a Skype call to NZ, catch up on my unread inbox of over 100 emails about sustainability and events I am helping with in 3 different countries, catch up with a million people I have been thinking about in the 3 weeks I have been off the radar, AND help plan my besties Stag Do. In one night.

• I was due to fly to Bali a week ago to do my sadhana (spiritual practice of silent meditation) but Greta’s abscess led to her needing emergency treatment so we found digs in Brisbane after crazy last minute searching on Airbnb, organic shop shopping and cuddle giving amidst the grumps and upset.

• I was due to fly to Bali this week and Greta was supposed to go to Byron but Greta’s emergency treatment got delayed due to us trying to source a better dentist, due to highly unholistic and expensive advice from the first one (and thank god).

• I was due to fly to Bali tomorrow but I got sick and my lymph’s are up so I don’t feel comfortable flying/sitting down for long periods. And I’m about to come on my period. And we don’t now have the budget for the flights now after the dentist, the accommodation and the plan changes. And I don’t want to leave Greta (and is this just an excuse???)

• I organised a retreat space to do my silent meditation here but I haven’t heard if it’s possible to do it here from my meditation teacher. And I’m still hoping I can go to Bali.

• I have 8 days before I am going to Adelaide for my besties wedding.

• We have moved four times in the last 5 days. And we are a bit over it.

• I didn’t sleep last night because it got cold and I was poorly (I felt very sorry for myself and got all grizzly at about 3am) so we spent a lot of time looking into various (potentially warmer) options this morning, researching many places online, had some honest chats with the landlady and after a lot of discussion we are still here.

• I’m worrying everyday what my meditation teacher thinks as I am 7 days late to Bali.

• I’m worrying everyday about what I SHOULD be doing. Should I go to Bali, should I stay here, should I already be in Bali, should I just give up on doing my sadhana and just practice being more disciplined with my practice every day, should I go with Greta to Byron and find a place to retreat there, should I sack it all off and fly to see my bestie in Adelaide to give her and her gf pre wedding help and cuddles, should I should I should I (insert endless other options)????

• Neither of us knows what we are doing tomorrow, let alone next week.

Tricky right?

Well actually NO. None of it is.

It’s all about letting go. Letting go of what we feel we should be doing, what we feel we need to be doing, what we feel we could be doing, and what we perceive OTHERS to feel we should, would, could be doing. Letting go of what we want to happen and what we are attached to, and allowing the space to be cleared for what is already THERE. In the present moment. And to fully engage in it.

It’s all about breathing into what IS. Embracing the twists, the changes, and the challenges that arrive. Greeting everything as a gift to explore ourselves, our fears and insecurities, our joys, our passions and our loves, and to everyday embrace a little bit MORE of life, with a little bit MORE of an open heart. And most of all to ENJOY it allll!

In the last week of challenges and completely UNexpected turns of events I have had an awesome amount of learnings, incredible experiences, many beautiful blessings, and a LOT of wonderful interactions with friends, strangers and my partner.

Special big ups go to Kristina and Annie for being generally marvellous and especially giving us wheels for the week. Hitesh – who generously and openly gave us his flat for a few days and trusted us with green smoothie making in his neat and tidy kitchen. Mike and Ann – for their patience as we researched our options after my sleepless night, and their following generosity and depth of conversations on the veranda. To the Luminate Exec Comm who fill my world with purpose. And finally to my wonderful partner for her open hearted sharings, her love, cuddles and support, and for being my perfect companion on this journey of life.

To round up the week… here’s my top lessons:

1. I learned what it is to truly support someone that I love, in the face of grumps, tantrums and tears. To be caring, loving, centred (mostly), and a little firm when needed. To learn to see through all their pain and anger, and step through my own fears or triggers to be able to give them all the cuddles and love in the world. And also that when I struggle with that, that’s ok too.

2. I learned that standing by your values, even when at first it seems the hardest or most challenging route. Has the best outcome.

3. I learned that expectations, of my own on myself, and on perceived expectations from an external source, will cause me to act in ways outside my truth.

4. I learned that when I stop, breathe, get real, meditate or connect to source in whatever form that comes to me, my mind clears from all my dramas, becomes peaceful and I begin to see truth with open eyes.

5. I learned to trust in the flow. To move into that feeling of KNOWING you are exactly where you need to be and to allow yourself to let that knowing calm you. (This is recurring – not sure I have it nailed just yet!)

6. I learned if I stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about my would, should, and could be’s (including myself) then a door opens for all that IS to come in.

7. I have learned that I am enough. Right here right now. Even when I feel I am ‘doing’ nothing. And it feels GREAT to allow myself to stop and actually be in that ‘doing nothing’ space!

8. I have learned that if you communicate with a stranger with an open heart, no matter how personal or uncomfortable the situation, they respond with amazing compassion and support.

9. I have learned that when it comes to work and business, when it comes from heart EVERYTHING flows, is efficient, productive and successful, and when we act in fear it’s like running the wrong way up an escalator.

10. I learned that being in a relationship is the most wonderful thing I never knew I always wanted. I learned that to share my innermost fears and to be given the same in return forms a bond and connection stronger than anything I have ever known. And that two people who are committed to facing themselves and expressing all that they are with one another can overcome any challenge. No matter how large or scary. Together.

11. I learned that being in love with a person means being in love with the WHOLE person. No matter how hard it gets, you are still committed to being there, loving, supporting, standing beside them, and you do not want or cannot imagine being ANYWHERE else. And that it is the most beautiful feeling in the world. To be IN LOVE is the most beautiful feeling in the world!

12. I learned that my friends are the most amazing beings, and that their ever present presence in my world fills my life with such an incredible richness. A richness full of love, inspiration, connection, support, guidance, and just downright AWESOMENESS that I can’t even find the words for it. And I am thankful EVERYDAY for every single one of them.

13. I learned that when I stick with something that might be a little (or a lot) challenging the rewards can be huge.

14. I learned that when you are simply grateful for your life,nothing else matters.

15. I learned that when you are simply grateful for your life, your life is full of beautifulness and abundance.

16. And I have learned that no matter what, EVERYTHING is working out just perfectly!

So next time things don’t turn out how you planned, next time you are frustrated with a situation going ‘wrong’, next time you are acting on a should, would, could, or worrying what someone else thinks, next time you are wrecking your head with your own expectations on yourself, or feeling you should be somewhere else doing something else, try the simple art of breathing and letting go.

Letting it ALLLL go

Because you never know what lessons, what beautifulness, and what wonderful opportunities are trying to get in the back door!

Much love to all as ever

Gayle

Xxxxx

PS I still don’t know if I will make it to Bali this week, or what I or Greta will end up doing. I don’t know if we will stay here in this gorgeous house beyond tomorrow morning. But what I do know is that whatever I do will be less about expectations and more about what’s truly in my heart and I am giving that ALL the space in the world to come through!