Sometimes that story of abandonment, that disconnection from a cesarean birth followed by incubator lives strong in me, affects my feelings today, my attachments that form to people, the loss of my mum, that piece missing inside myself, that pain that I remember from that loneliness from all those years ago.
Manifested in my life now. As disconnection.
Sometimes I cry, sometimes I am dramatic, sometimes I want to be seen, to be held, to be kept safe.
Its an old story but one that is ingrained in my cellular memory, and lives in my physical body.
Disconnection from source, confusion, loneliness. Unloved.
Sometimes we carry things so long we don’t even know where they started.
And yet we create the same story over and over in our lives.
Well we can change our stories, we can release this pain and other deep rooted patterns.
We can step out of deficit and pain and into love.
But we have to WANT it
We have to take a stand and say this is no longer serving me.
And take time to face ourselves.
My friend has just come back from one of those such retreats, where we
face our deepest self. Through Holotrophic Breathing work.
I didnt go, I wanted to, but money, excuses, held me back.
Next weekend Lydia Oukhaneva has a breathing workshop in Malta
Catharsis of relationships: rebirth yourself.
I am going.
No questions asked, no hesitation.
This weekend I am going to The Eco Gathering, to be held in community,
while I journey through workshops and inner reflection.
Its time.
For me to take time.
For me.
Love.
Its starts within
Feel free to join me
You are loved
x x x x x
You see….. Its a story, old pain, a drama.
Its something I can release, but something I have to choose to. We as humans get attached to our stories. We love them. We indulge in them. I feel that pain when I am triggered. But it is just pain, a fear. It isnt love, it isnt truth.
When we make space to connect with ways to release, things fall away into divine love, into connection. Whether that be through meditation, trance, breath work, through plant medicine or through other forms of release, everyone resonates with something different.
But it all starts with us being ok to say I am human, and I carry pain, that way we can look at our stories with awareness, and say enough. Its time to love ourselves.